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Sermon for the Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost – September 7, 2025
Luke 14:25-33
Dear friends, grace to you and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.
When we hear the word “hate,” it gets our attention. The English definition of the word “hate” is “an intense and passionate dislike for someone or something.” We hear about hate mail and hate groups and hate crimes. Adding the word hate to those things ratchets up the intensity. We use the word hate to describe a dark and dangerous force, an ugly loathing. There is so much hate seething in our society today, coming from all corners, from all across the political spectrum, from all walks of life, and I think we are all so weary of it.
Hate is an ugly word, and so it is jarring for us to hear it on Jesus’ lips in our gospel reading for today. It is especially shocking to hear Jesus say that no one can be his disciple unless they hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even life itself. It is hard to hear. It certainly gets our attention, right?
Well, it should get our attention – but the first thing we need to do in order to understand what Jesus is saying here is to distinguish between our definition of hate and the way Jesus is using the word. Jesus is using a Hebraic idiom, a non-literal, hyperbolic manner of speaking. “Hate” here doesn’t have quite the same meaning as it does in our English dictionaries. In this particular context and culture to “hate” is not to despise or loathe or be hostile towards. Here it means to detach yourself from something. It means to consider something to be of lesser importance. It means to let go of something. I appreciate how Eugene Peterson deals with this passage in The Message, where he translates Jesus’ words as: “Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one’s own self!—can’t be my disciple.”
Throughout his life Jesus upheld the fourth commandment, in which we are called to honor mothers and fathers. Jesus upheld and even intensified the sixth commandment, in which marriage is to be honored and spouses are to be faithfully loved and cherished. Jesus loved children and chastised those who tried to prevent them from coming to him. Jesus called people to love even their enemies. Jesus does not require us to have “an intense and passionate dislike” of anyone, let alone our parents, spouses, and children!
He does, however, call us to loosen our grip on anything that has become an idol for us. He calls us to put him first, above everything else in our lives, even the best parts. In a similar passage in Matthew’s gospel Jesus says, “whoever loves father or mother or son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” This captures what Jesus is saying here in Luke in a more shocking way. Jesus calls us to love him above everything and everyone else. Jesus calls us to let go of all that we hold most dear, even our own selves, our own lives, in order to take hold of him.
This is a season of letting go for my wife and me. Our oldest son now has a wife who outranks mom and dad in his life. This is exactly as it should be, and we’re thrilled about it, but it does mean we need to do a little letting go. We also recently helped our middle son move out after he took a job down in Fife as an engineer. This is exciting and wonderful and everything we’ve been working toward, but it also involves some letting go. A few weeks ago, we dropped our youngest off at college for his sophomore year and came home again to an empty nest which, we are realizing, is becoming an increasingly permanent situation. We are learning that this is not without its benefits, but it still involves some letting go. This letting go is difficult. It is painful. It is also revealing – even convicting. It has revealed to me just how much I have been clinging to my children as my highest good. It has convicted me of how much idolatry has crept into my heart in the form of parental love.
A few years ago, I came across a devotion someone shared from the “Jesus Calling” book by Sarah Young. I’ve found this particular devotion helpful to return to from time to time. In case you’re not familiar with these devotions, you need to know she writes as though Jesus is addressing the reader directly. This one says:
Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into my protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one – as well as yourself….I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love, so beware of making a beloved child your idol. When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand….My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you as you relax and place your trust in Me.
Brothers and sisters, this is what our gospel reading for today is about. It is not about despising or loathing or being hostile towards father and mother and spouse and children and brothers and sisters and even life itself. It is about letting go of it all in order to take hold of Christ more fully and firmly. This is how we become disciples – not by clinging to our loved ones as idols, but by clinging to Christ.
It might seem harsh to associate our love for our families with idolatry, but it fits the definition. Idolatry is turning to something other than God for security and wholeness and meaning. People often look to their parents for security. People often look to their spouses for wholeness. People often look to their children to provide meaning and purpose. These aren’t entirely unreasonable expectations. The problem comes when those expectations move beyond their proper vocational boundaries and become idols for us.
Not only is our idolatry offensive to God; it isn’t fair to our loved ones either. It isn’t fair to expect parents to protect us from every hardship or challenge. It isn’t fair to spouses to expect them to fulfill every need someone might have. As urgently important as children are, it isn’t fair to make them one’s sole purpose and project in life. These are all vitally important relationships, but there is a relationship that is even more important.
Our gospel reading begins by telling us that people were traveling with Jesus. They were traveling with him, but they weren’t necessarily following him. They hadn’t yet put their trust in him. This seems to be what prompts these sharp words. Jesus demands more from people than merely lurking on the outskirts. Jesus doesn’t want mere travelers, he wants disciples. He doesn’t want fans, he wants followers.
Following him is not something you can do from a distance. He won’t be kept at arm’s length while you take on supposedly more important things. Following him cannot be of lesser importance than anything! It cannot be a part-time gig, or something we dabble in or take up casually. Christianity is more than a general philosophy or a worldview. It is a relationship with God in Christ, and nothing can be allowed to take precedent over that relationship. Nothing, not even good things, can be more important to us. If our hands insist on clinging to something else, they will never cling fully to Christ, and we will not be his disciples.
And so we need to let go. We need to let go of all those things that compete for the highest priority in our lives. We need to loosen our grip on the lives we so diligently build for ourselves. We need to let go of every idol we have so that we can take hold of something better, so that we can cling more tightly to Christ and the life only he can provide.
This letting go isn’t easy. Preschool starts here at Oak Harbor Lutheran this week, and there will be kids crying in the classroom and parents crying in the hallway or the parking lot, I guarantee it! I’ve seen lots of fellow parents posting pictures this week of college drop-off or first day of kindergarten or first day of senior year of high school. And these pictures are often captioned with a note of sadness. There is a letting go that happens, and this isn’t easy. Many of you have had to let go of loved ones. Many of us have lost parents. Many of you have lost spouses. A few families in our congregation have even lost children. This letting go of loved ones, this letting go of our lives, can be so very difficult, so very painful.
But we aren’t only called to let go. We are also called to take hold. We are called to take hold of Jesus. We are called to take up our crosses and follow him. This involves a crucifixion, to be sure, but it also brings a resurrection! It brings not only death, but life! We are called to take up our crosses and follow Jesus into the new life he brings.
In this new life we have in Christ we are free to love our families and friends without turning them into idols. We are free to love them better than we did before, because now they are rightly ordered in our lives as gifts and not gods. In this new life in Christ, we are free to appreciate and cherish the life we have been given, while not living only for ourselves and our accomplishments and our self-preservation. In this new life we have in Christ we have the ultimate security, we find the ultimate source of wholeness, we find ultimate meaning and purpose.
Best of all, this new life in Christ is a life with God that begins now and continues forever. And so when we take hold of Christ and the new life he brings, nothing that we love is ever really lost. As Martin Luther once said, “I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.”
Whether we’re dropping our kids off at school or lowering a loved one into their grave, we can let go in the confidence that God still holds them in his mighty and loving hands. And if they are in God’s hands, they are safe. If they are in God’s hands, they can never be lost, they can never be far from us. To let go of them, then, isn’t an abandonment, and it certainly isn’t an ugly loathing. It is instead to place them in the hands of the One who loves them even more than we do. It is releasing them to Christ’s care so that our hands are free to cling to him too.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
Rev. Jeffrey R. Spencer
Oak Harbor Lutheran Church